Dessert while intoxicated: Bananas Foster
By Joseph Shaul
I don’t drink frequently. I could fib and provide some reasonable justification based on expenditure or health, but the fact is, I’m just not very good at it. A stiff double is all it takes to make my face go bright red, and I find myself foot in mouth more often than the average contortionist. It’s not pretty.
Even worse is that when I drink, I inexplicably want to cook. It’s almost a compulsion. Of my repertoire, Bananas Foster is an tispy two AM favorite: The combination of readily available ingredients, ease of preparation, and enormous fireballs never fails to please. However, unless you have a lot of practice and keep a fire extinguisher next to the stove, you might want to first try this one sober.
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar (or 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup white sugar)
2 Tbsp. corn syrup (optional; prevents crystallization, making this much easier to do when inebriated)
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, unsalted
1/3 cup dark rum. Or, if you don’t have dark rum, substitute bourbon whiskey. If you don’t have bourbon whiskey, substitute whatever is handy. (You’re drunk, right?)
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
Combine sugar, corn syrup, and butter in saucepan or wide skillet. Heat over medium flame until the mixture begins to visibly thicken, roughly 230F. Turn off the stove, and immediately pour liquor over the top, igniting with a lighter or match. Sprinkle spices over the top for optimal pyrotechnics (the cinnamon will produce vibrant sparks), and stir with a long wire whisk, taking care to distance hands from flame. After the fire extinguishes, add bananas sliced lengthwise and into quarters, coat with sauce and simmer until soft. Serve with ice cream.
The recipe is dead simple. The only real trick is retaining your eyebrows. .